How to Stop Worrying About the Things You Can’t Control

I am the one thing in life I CAN control.

Many years ago, I overslept and missed an important flight. My plane left at 8 AM and I woke up at exactly 8:05. Imagine the frustration! Now if you knew me personally, you’d know that I am never late. I plan ahead of time and prepare in advance just in case unplanned circumstances occur and I am perfectly ready to handle them.

The moment I looked at my clock and realized that the alarm didn’t go off, I panicked.

Immediately, I started calling the airline, begging them to put me on the next available flight the same day. I spent six hours from the moment I woke up dealing with customer service agents and online booking services trying to get on any flight to make my business trip. As you can imagine, the flights were overbooked. I was not going to reach my destination as I’d planned earlier and there was no way around it.

Remembering the situation and what led to it, that same week I had a horrific flu that left me bed ridden for days, with high fever, headache and everything that goes with it. The night before I went to bed early, hoping to get a good sleep before my trip. Since I hadn’t slept well previous five nights, I finally fell asleep peacefully and got the rest I needed.

And while I woke up rested and refreshed that morning, the realization that I had missed my flight turned the whole situation around. I started hyperventilating and going completely berserk over a situation I couldn’t control. The plane was gone, I was late, that was it.

See, if I had handled the situation differently I would have never allowed the stress to overpower me. I could have just turned around and had some more sleep but the more I focused on the stress the more it overpowered me. The truth is that control is one of the methods I use to stay safe and keep things in order, but what I forgot to notice that morning, is that I cannot control everything in my life.

“What would my boss say? Will he ever trust me again with doing the work I thought I was so good at?” “The whole office will know that I overslept thinking that I was negligent and irresponsible.”

These are just some of the thoughts going through my mind, keeping me literally paralyzed for the rest of the day.

The reality was, no one knew. No one even cared. The business did not suffer, everything fell into place and my being late actually turned out to be a good thing because the destination I was going to suffered the worst typhoon in years and all the airports were closed, which meant I would have probably diverted to a place I didn’t want to be in, stressing over things I couldn’t change yet again.

So how do you respond to something you can’t control? Do you let the situation run you or do you purposefully act knowing how you want to feel and see this situation unfold?

Look at the big picture and understand what it is that you can and cannot control. What is bothering you? Write it all down.

When you gain clarity on the situation knowing how big or small your problem is, you’ll get a better picture of why you worry so much and soon realize that worrying won’t change a thing. And more often than not you’ll see that these worries are really minuscule and that you have the ultimate power over them.

Say no to drama. If drama develops around you, take a step back and keep moving. More importantly, stop playing the victim to circumstances you created. I thought I was having a problem that couldn’t be solved when in fact I was forcing myself to believe that my problem was so big that I focused all my energy on it and created drama that got out of control. But how we choose to look at a problem will directly influence how we deal with it. So, if you choose to look for a hidden meaning within that problem you can use the problem to grow and refuse to be defeated by it.

Focus on what you can control. The one thing you can control is YOU, so decide how you will respond to and perceive what is happening around you.

Be thankful. Whatever is happening at the moment, know that better things are coming. I believe that if something bad happens, something much better is on the way and this always proves to be true. I’ve learned that the more grateful I am for each experience in my life, the more goodness comes back to me.

Every time you think a negative thought or start worrying about something in the future that most probably won’t happen, you project it onto yourself, bringing it into your life for no reason. You have to relax and start living. When a negative thought comes to you and you are about to say it out loud, don’t finish it. Reverse it. Use it to your advantage and say what it is that you truly want.

The Universe sends us exactly what we are ready for at the exact time we need it in our lives. I learned to always trust the process and to stop acting small thinking that I deserve only as much as I think I should have. I now know that I am not in the Universe but one with it sending vibrations out that I want to come back to me. I learned to let go of the things I cannot control and focus on what I can.

As the famous song goes: “…you’re a driver, not a passenger in life…”

So, take full responsibility for your life and make it what you want it to be. Stop making excuses and start making changes. When you stop blaming others for your failures and circumstances you go through and take full responsibility for your actions, you become unstoppable.

Now tell me, what is one thing you find hard to let go but you know you cannot control. Let me know in the comments below.

Be the Best YOU – 10 Powerful Questions to Help You Envision the Best Version of Yourself

I know the feeling.

You’re in a never-ending bettle with yourself unable to understand why you just can’t push yourself hard enough to do what is best for you. You dream of being slimmer, healthier, more satisfied. You yearn for peace and fulfillment in your life and you know you have a list of dreams that you must fulfill in this lifetime.

But you keep putting it off. Because you are afraid. Because you just can’t figure out what is stopping you from going after what you truly want in life.

The truth is that things never fall into place when we want them to because saying that “someday” we’ll work on our health or take more time to travel, is just a lame excuse for saying, “I’m too lazy to think of it right now” which equals to  “I’ll never do it”. Both you and I know that someday means never.

The only cure for all the excuses you keep coming up with, the best remedy to stop feeling downhearted because you are not where you’d hoped you would be, is ACTION! Yes, good old action. And soon you will learn that “an ounce of action, is worth a ton of theory” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

To inspire you to start today, I’ve prepared ten awesome questions that will help you envision your best self. To do this, you’ll need to find a vision with which you are emotionally connected and practice it every single day. After you answer the questions and get more clarity, start practicing this amazing visualization technique and start doing what you promised yourself you would do, to help you get to where you want to be.

Knowing exactly where you want to be in your life 5 or 10 years from today, or even 6 months from now, will give you the clarity you need to always keep moving forward.

So, let’s begin.

  1. How do you feel? (What is the feeling that brings you the ultimate joy in life?)

  2. How do you spend your time?

  3. What activities do you do to stay fit and healthy, that bring you enjoyment and make you feel amazing?

  4. What do you look like?

  5. Where do you live?

  6. What kind of life are you living? (living in a beautiful house by the sea, or not staying in one place, traveling the world?)

  7. Who do you have next to you who supports the best version of you?

  8. What kind of work do you do?

  9. What do you do differently compared to today?

  10. What is the greatest challenge you are facing as the best version of yourself?

Remember that it is never too late to start working on yourself. If you don’t start today, a year from now you’ll be in the same state, even more miserable, knowing that you lost 365 precious days out of your beautiful life just because you didn’t take the right action.

And most importantly, love yourself during the process. No matter your goal, whether you want to lose 20 pounds, make more money, travel the world, or find the love of your life, you must enjoy and trust the process. You are doing this for yourself. And I promise you wholeheartedly, if you stay consistent and true to yourself, and do what you have to do even when you feel low and unwilling to do it, you will succeed. All your hard work and determination will bring you somewhere wonderful where you always wanted to be. Love yourself. Stay grateful and keep it simple.

Now it’s your turn to make it happen. What are you going to do today to start working on creating the best version of yourself?

I’d love to know your thoughts. Leave a comment below.